The New York Times: A Magic Phrase to Defeat Nosy Questions

In The New York Times, writer Jancee Dunn explores how everyday questions can cross the line from genuine interest into “predatory curiosity”—a kind of questioning that feels nosy, invasive, or agenda-driven rather than truly humanizing. The piece highlights insights from Scott Shigeoka, who explains that real curiosity conveys “I want to understand you,” whereas predatory curiosity subtly communicates “I want to change you.”

Dunn and experts in the article offer practical advice for recognizing and responding to invasive questions, including using a calm, clear phrase like “I’d rather not talk about that” to protect personal boundaries without hostility. The coverage reinforces Scott’s message that curiosity done well fosters dignity, connection, and respect—while curiosity with an agenda can feel intrusive or even harmful.